One of the smartest conference presenters I have ever heard started his talk on clinical ethics thusly:
“You know what the right answer is to every question, don’t you?”
Of course we did not.
“It depends.”
That was Sylvan Schaffer, attorney and psychologist, probably thirty some years ago, and I still pull that story out all the time.
I wish more people knew this.
I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups where people come down adamantly on a position when many possible positions are available and valid. Questions come up like:
- Should I get a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA?
- Is it better to write the song lyrics first, THEN the music, or vice-versa?
- What’s the best time of year to visit Hawai’i?
- Which two islands should I visit?
- Should I take my social security at 62, 66, or 70?
- Should I pay off my mortgage or just keep investing my extra money?
Answer: IT DEPENDS !!!!!
Makes sense, right? Is a down coat a good thing to wear? In Alaska in January, yes; in Honolulu, ever, no.
Anyway, when people ask questions, ask yourself whether the answer is “it depends.” You will often find that it does indeed depend, and you almost always get a richer conversation for asking… And you will also become acutely aware of friends and acquaintances who are seriously black and white thinkers, and who tend to only see and value their own perspective. (And Empaths will already know that “it depends”…)
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Therapist & Life Coach
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=James+Mick+Nolan for some tunes…
“Alexa, Play James Mick on Spotify”