There Are Two Ways of Approaching Life      by james mick nolan

There are two ways to look at Psychology and Life. (Of course there are NOT two ways, but a billion ways, but for the sake of a 500 word blog, let’s call it two.)

1. We are largely or primarily a product of our environment, background, and upbringing. The environment, the culture, luck (bad or good), the church, my family–these primarily shape, create, influence how my life goes, whether I am doomed or privileged, happy or not, successful or not, abundant or not.
2. While most of the above are obviously relevant to some extent, our lives are more primarily shaped, created, influenced, by decisions we make, the mindset we choose, the beliefs we hold, and how we choose to respond to circumstances and events. We can pursue the life we want through intentionality, conscious awareness of what we are doing, and creating a mindset that serves us in pursuing the life we want for ourselves.

Julian Rotter, in 1954, wrote about these as an External or Internal Locus of Control. You can take either of those to an extreme: “We totally create our own reality”, or “We are totally victims of the circumstances into which we are born or thrown.” It is likely that neither of these is true.

External Locus of Control is associated with Pessimism, with a lowered sense of personal agency, less control over one’s life and environment, Learned Hopelessness, mood, perceived quality of life, and life satisfaction.

Internal Locus of Control is associated with Optimism, a greater sense of personal agency, uplifted mood, more perceived control over one’s environment and life, and greater life satisfaction.

• The Serenity Prayer, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, the Law of Attraction, and Positive Psychology all encourage us to focus on things that are within our sphere of influence or control, rather than wallow in a disempowered awareness of the things, people, events we cannot control or influence.
• Viktor Frankl insisted on focusing on Meaning in his life, now, and in the future, while imprisoned in Auschwitz, a Nazi death camp.
• “For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so…” William Shakespeare
• “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you are right.” Henry Ford

My personal and professional belief is that by setting intentions, working at keeping those positive, and being conscious and aware of our own beliefs and internal dialog, we can shift toward a focus on those things we can change or influence. This supports an Internal Locus of Control. My aim is to keep a heavier balance on the stuff we can influence, and acknowledge the other stuff, but kind of let it go if I have no plans or means for changing anything there. (Praying counts, if you believe in praying, as does sending checks, showing up to help lift the trees after a hurrincane, and so on…)

Focusing on Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, Mercury Retrograde, the family situation into which I was born in 1953, climate change, conspiracy villains, my boss, the devil, or one’s spouse and attributing our mood or current life circumstances to any or  all of those supports an External Locus of Control. Makes us feel like victims, like nothing we do will make a difference, change our circumstances. That’s exactly where we do NOT want to find ourselves. That’s my take anyway…

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