Why Clients That Fire Me Fire Me

I am a very big believer in taking responsibility for our own experiences in life.

Were we impacted by the past? Sure.

Have we had experiences that sucked? You bet. Plenty.

I find there is a subset of people that really, really, really wants to make their current experience an absolute function of their narcissistic parents, or narcissistic ex, or their “attachment style”, or one of the last two presidents, or Mercury Retrograde, or the Solar Flares, or on and on and on.

But “Psychologizing” everything, tying it back to a theory that lay persons usually do not recognize is only a theory, is sometimes a deal breaker. I just often refuse to collude in a client’s program if and when I believe that their understanding of what is going on is misguided and potentially (or actually) holding them back.

Does that mean I’m right? No.

I do have almost 40 years in the business, so there’s that. If somebody wants to put that up against an article they just found online, well, feel free, I guess.

So, if you make it all about the Psychology, and Mom, and 1987, and continue a narrative about how forces outside of yourself are governing and responsible for your current behavior, I believe you have given away a ton of power (unnecessarily and ill-advisedly), and you are likely not taking responsibility for your next thought, your next action, your next chapter, your own trajectory.

You can kind of see the breaking point here.

I got nothing to work with (neither do you) if some person or force OUTSIDE my office or Zoomspace is the PRIMARY actor that is governing your life. I can’t work with that. We can’t go back to 1988 to make your mom do things differently so that you can make different decisions today.

You have to be or become the primary driver of the bus. Of COURSE you will still be impacted by the past, or stuff happening in the world. But if you let those things get more powerful than the power YOU wield in designing your life now and in your future, you are in trouble.

And if you have a heavy investment in sticking to those guns, those old narratives that somebody else is still driving your bus, you will probably fire me.

And that is probably the right thing to do, for both of us.

Cuz I don’t believe it.

I DO believe that you believe it, but that’s another matter…

Text me at 505.699.7616

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